Mama Would Have Turned 68 Today

Meet Kim, one of my Blog friends, this is a tribute to her Mother, the family resemblance is remarkable.

kimboxin

Hard to believe she was even prettier on the inside. Hard to believe she was even prettier on the inside.

Today my Mother would have celebrated her 68th Birthday. We would have taken her out to a Tex-Mex restaurant where she would have ordered cheese enchiladas. And after dinner, she would have been presented with an assortment of gifts but also with the traditional gift of “Mama Pajamas” that her three girls picked out every year.

Can I make it through this post? It’s still so difficult, even after 16 years. Receiving her cancer diagnosis ripped the seams of my world apart at 17. I watched her bravely fight for her life through chemo and radiation. I proudly witnessed her come out of her shy shell, as she became the “chemo cheerleader” and adopted her fellow chemo patients. She was self-described as painfully shy, but her illness brought out the warrior in her. I held her hand when she took…

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For Those that Read:

I get up this morning; eyes half dazed from just waking up make coffee and proceed to twitter first to take care of the events that took place while I was asleep. Then check email and the Blog. I have been nominated for two different awards. I will mention those in a future post.

I am honored to have these awards bestowed upon me. Some may view them as nothing more than chain letters; I can see that especially if one was operating a business and want to maintain that professional look like large corporations do. I respect that.

Here is my opinion on such awards, but first why does one blog:

Some of us may use this platform to rid stress or a hobby and nothing more, some of us may be shy in the real world and this provides a means of speaking ones voice, perhaps some of us are going through hell whether it is depression, (By the way, A Journey with You has a great site about mental illness) cancer or other illness and just need to vent since some of those group session just isn’t enough.. Then there are those that are contemplating to end it all, I have seen a site like that while I was adventuring out to find new blogs to reblog. Maybe, we are promoting a new book or thinking about writing one and we try to get readers opinions first before the ink dries. Some of us may want to get that break, that foot in the door so to speak, whatever you reason be -you blog.

Opinion on awards:

I view them as a fellow Blogger that felt the need to give, a form of saying thank you in a big way or to be recognized for your efforts and giving you that virtual pat on the back. But, more importantly, it is a way to be more social within the Blogosphere to let other know a little bit more of you and vice versa. In time, I do wish that I do get to know some of you better.

I did some searching and when I read this one, there was a keyword that popped out to me, arms, flags waving and whistles sounding off. “Search engine optimization (SEO) is the process of affecting the visibility of a website or a web page in a search engine’s unpaid results – often referred to as “natural,” “organic,” or “earned” results.”

What better way to drive traffic to your site.

A new care factor.

This was a great find Danny, Leila this was very good with a harsh look at Dementia which I am very familiar with, I also understand your frustrations of children not being their for their parents who after all raised them, I see this happen far too often and burns me as well. This is very good read and is why I am reblogging this one as well.

looking in.

Have you ever found yourself looking in the mirror at your reflection and asking yourself, “Well, what now?” Ever asked yourself, “What are you waiting for?” I was today pondering those very questions as I stood in a hospital elevator staring at my reflection in the elevator mirror trying to work out why I was so restless. The look on my face said it all because as I stood there staring at myself with a very restless and heavy heart I realised that things needed to change and, that it was time to change it. Let me explain further.

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I have a heart for helping people, especially the hurting and the broken. My heart breaks when I see someone hurting and all I want to do is go and comfort them, hug them and try to make them feel better. I also find that I at times attract people who are…

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July 1993

It was a warm summers day as most days are in California. The conifer tree in front raining it’s needles and cones. The rose bush displaying new blossoms filled with red, white and pink petals producing perfumes of heaven.

The walnut tree lives in back, a gigantic one at that, starting to shows signs of maturity a few more months and they will be ready. The peach trees that are in back as well showing signs of seasons end.

People coming and going some with smiles while others more serious.

A lady took Mom to the back of the house to talk, while my brother Steve and I stepped out in front near the Conifer tree. The air was still as we talked to each other. It was peaceful on this warm day in July.

Out of nowhere, a strong wind came up. I did not feel it on my entire body, only as though it were passing through my head and shoulder region and then it was gone just as fast as it came in. The leaves on the Conifer tree stopped swaying as well. That was weird.

My brother Steve and I looked at each other not saying a word.

We knew what happened. We rush back in our house, and Mom in tears. The people that were coming and going are on their phones chartering, yet, I don’t know what they were saying as though their voices were drowned out; like a fuzzy photo-distorted if you will.

Mirror Image

I stand here in a dark hallway with only a silhouette casting shades of gray

yet, you believe it is he that stands there.

I sit here contemplating life’s goals, hands and facial expressions that further your suspicions.

At times, a nightmare producing cries of torture throughout the house only strengthens your convictions, as I ponder your suspicions.

The voice from beyond haunts my mind as a gentle tap taps my soul.

Are you here? I yell out.

Receiving no confirmation, hesitations of the still air waiting with anticipation to only hear silence and compliance of a reality come true.

Have I become you from the dark?

I walk to the black box upon the television, read the name that is mine.

I stand here and you encased in a box surrounded with flowers of love.

The final days and last photos with my Dad.

The photos are true in every form showing what Cancer will do to a person. I did not take these last few days well as you can imagine, he was my hero and mentor. You have been warned, photos are below.

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Cancer, stomach cancer esophageal cancer,

Me and my Dad

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